


There's Only Room for You

by Cousin Shelley (CousinShelley)



Category: Riptide (TV)
Genre: Friendship - Extremely close with those you've gone through hell with, Friendship/Love, Jealousy, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sharing a Bed, Smarm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23971840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CousinShelley/pseuds/Cousin%20Shelley
Summary: After a ransom drop that ends in a shooting, Cody's preoccupied.
Relationships: Cody Allen/Nick Ryder
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13
Collections: Id Pro Quo 2020





	There's Only Room for You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tinx_r](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinx_r/gifts).



“I didn’t think they’d actually bring the money.” Nick nodded in the direction of the man in the silk three-piece suit carrying a briefcase across the street.

The only working streetlamp cast a pale yellow light over the intersection. It could be that the city crew simply hadn’t gotten around to repairing burned out lights in the area, but anything out of the ordinary in a drop spot could signal trouble. Maybe the kidnappers had knocked some lights out to give them a better chance of getting away unseen? 

“I didn’t think they’d bring it, either,” Cody said. “But I’ve never seen anybody carry an empty briefcase like that. Any briefcase, ever.”

Nick squinted through the leaves of the shrub they knelt behind. “Gotta be the cash.”

The man didn’t carry the case by the handle, but held it against his chest with both arms, like an infant he was afraid of dropping. 

A trickle of sweat ran down Nick’s side. The last few days had been hot and humid enough to feel more like Georgia than California. “What size bills do ya think let ‘em fit two million dollars in that case, though? Can’t be all of it. Do you--”

Gunfire split the silence, the staccato pops of an automatic weapon. Nick and Cody dropped to the ground, and Nick looked up in time to see the man with the briefcase go down, but not out of the same instinct. He was thrown forward as if pushed from behind. 

“He’s hit,” he said to Cody, but the gunfire was loud enough Nick couldn't be sure he’d heard. He got to his knees and moved around the line of bushes and the tree that capped the end, and fired in the direction of the muzzle flashes. 

Police lights threw a red haze over the street and a siren whooped. A few rounds of gunfire and lots of shouting later, the shooter was on the ground with two cops on his back, wrestling his wrists into cuffs. 

Nick sprinted across the street to the man in the suit. He groaned in pain, clutching his shoulder, but the wound looked like a through-and-through that hadn’t hit a bleeder. Probably hurt like hell but wasn’t going to kill him, and the ambulance siren was close.

Nick didn’t recognize the guy. He’d expected Franklin James himself, or the couple of men who worked directly under him that Nick had met a couple of days ago. This man was young, twenties maybe, and wide-eyed enough to look scared out of his wits. He pressed his own hand against his shoulder, and still managed to maintain a white-knuckled grip on the briefcase. 

“Hey, I’m Nick. You’re gonna be okay. Ambulance’ll be here any minute. Afraid your suit’s a goner, though.” Probably a goner without the gunshot, judging by the dark sweat marks under the guy’s arms. 

The man laughed through gritted teeth. “Lawrence. I’m more a T-shirt and jeans kinda guy anyway. The suit belongs to Mr. James.”

So Franklin James had sent a lower-level employee to do this for him. What a great man. 

“What about Mrs. James?” Lawrence tried to sit up, but Nick held him against the ground with a hand on his uninjured shoulder. 

“Easy, easy. Cops got the shooter, so whoever’s got her knows they’re not getting the ransom. Better to let her go and run than risk a murder charge if they’re caught.”

“So she’ll be okay?”

Nick couldn’t promise it, but at least he didn’t have to tell a huge lie to set the guy at ease. “The shooter will probably roll on his buddies. He’ll be the one up for attempted murder with a lot to lose if he doesn’t cooperate and make sure she gets back in one piece.”

Nick didn’t explain that Franklin James’ wife might already be dead since this seemed to be as much about killing Mr. James than getting the money. And maybe James knew that since he’d sent someone his height and hair color in one of his suits to drop it off. 

Nick glanced around, expecting Cody to be right behind him. He wasn’t.

Paramedics hurried his direction with a stretcher. Quinlan stood across the street in a semicircle with a handful of other cops. A few random bystanders were being pushed back by a police officer telling them there was nothing to see. 

Where the hell was Cody?

When the medics told Nick they’d take it from there, Lawrence gritted out, “Thanks, Nick.”

“You take care,” Nick said over his shoulder because he was already heading for the bushes where he and Cody had watched the whole thing go down. When Cody wasn’t there, Nick approached Quinlan, who didn’t know where he was. But he informed Nick that the shooter was going to be treated for the graze wound Nick gave him at the scene, then lead them to where Mrs. James was being held, so everything seemed to be working out for the best. 

After Quinlan thanked Nick, grudgingly, and turned his back to talk to one of the cops, Nick spotted Cody about thirty yards away. A woman held his hands. Sylvia James, the niece, the one they and the cops told in no uncertain terms not to show up.

But there she was. She hugged Cody, and the hug went on so long Nick thought there had to be more going on than relief that her favorite aunt should now be safe. 

It stung to see Cody with her, to see that he hadn’t followed Nick but stopped to . . . do what? He wouldn’t have stopped just to flirt in the middle of what had happened. Nick knew better than that. He’d probably noticed her as soon as Nick took off, and may have been protecting her. Maybe he’d had to hold her back to keep her from putting herself in danger by rushing into the open. 

Cody must have had a good reason beyond the fact that she was tall and blonde and curvy and clearly had eyes for him since the moment they’d met. 

Their hug finally ended, and her hand went to Cody’s face. She kissed his other cheek, then turned and walked away. Cody put his hands on his hips, head tilted back as if he looked up at the stars. Probably making plans to call her tomorrow, take her somewhere nice. 

Nick jogged up to him. “Hey, man.” He clapped Cody’s shoulder. 

Cody flinched and met Nick’s gaze, then pulled him into a tight hug. 

“Wow, in a huggin’ mood tonight, huh?” Nick returned it, the tone of his voice lighter than he felt. 

“Guess so. The guy okay?”

“Just a shoulder hit. He’ll be all right. Cops are going to get Mrs. James right now.”

“That’s good.” Cody let go of him, took a deep breath and smiled. “You hit the shooter?”

“Grazed. He’s fine.”

Cody glanced up again, already seeming miles away from where they stood. Nick followed his gaze but couldn’t pinpoint anything he might be looking at.

“She looked . . . grateful.”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. She’s relieved it’s over.”

Nick thought Cody might mention what the kiss and hug were all about, maybe brag a little about an upcoming date. When he didn’t, Nick offered, “You’re not up to making sure she gets home safe?” 

Cody gestured in her direction. A young man had his arms around her, rubbing her back. “Came with her cousin. She’s all right. Tough girl.”

Cody swiped his hand down his face and seemed to snap out of his stargazing. “Think they need us around for anything else?” 

“Quinlan just informed me, a little too happily I might add, that they don’t.” He put his arm around Cody’s shoulders and squeezed as they started walking. This time Cody didn’t flinch. “Let’s get outta here.”

* * *

Cody was quiet on the way back to the Riptide, answering Nick when he asked a question and sometimes chiming in with a _mm_ or _uh huh_ when Nick said something, but it seemed more to break the silence than anything. As much as Nick didn’t really want to hear the details, he wanted to ask about Sylvia, but thought it could wait until the next day if he wanted to get an actual answer out of him.

When Cody was worn out, he either got quiet or he got slaphappy and giddy and rattled on about anything. This seemed to be his quiet tired. 

After they got into their bunks, Cody’s tossing and turning kept Nick awake for so long he almost said something. Cody finally lay still, and Nick started to doze off. A soft creak pulled him back to alertness as Cody got up, probably to use the bathroom. 

He didn’t need to pull shorts on to do that, though. 

“Where you goin’?” 

He felt guilty the moment he asked, because Cody flinched. He must have thought Nick was asleep. It wasn’t really his business if Cody wanted to do something instead of sleep, but it was so unlike him he couldn’t help himself. 

“I’m gonna take a walk. Can’t sleep.”

“How come?” He leaned up on his elbow. 

“How come I’m going for a walk, or how come I can’t sleep?”

“Either answer, if you’ve got ‘em.”

“I don’t know, Nick.” He patted his own chest. “I’m wired, even though I can barely keep my eyes open. Maybe fresh air will do the trick.”

“I’ll keep you company.”

“Nah, get some sleep. I won’t be gone more than a half an hour.”

Like he was gonna get any kind of good sleep knowing Cody was awake and unable to rest. He might as well join him. But Cody added, “I’d feel guilty for keeping you up. Sleep tight, Nick,” he said as he pulled his shirt on and left the stateroom. 

Nick tried not to feel stung that Cody hadn’t wanted him along, and eventually he did doze again. When he woke the next morning, he didn’t feel rested, and he knew in his bones that Cody hadn’t been back in his bed. 

He threw on jeans and a muscle shirt and hurried above deck to find Cody sitting in a chair, eyes closed, in nothing but the shorts he’d put on last night with his tank top hanging over the arm of the chair. His long legs were crossed at the ankle on the railing. At least it had been a warm enough night for him to sleep that way. Nick almost woke him, but maybe he’d only been out a little while. 

Nick turned to head inside to warn Murray to be quiet, then remembered he’d be gone another day or two. Some programming conference upstate. So Nick sat in the empty chair near Cody and watched him sleep. 

Sylvia had been on his mind a lot since last night, and he meant to ask about her today. But watching Cody’s chest rise and fall, his lip twitch a little as the morning breeze ruffled the hair on his forehead, Nick realized he couldn’t really blame her for flirting no matter the circumstances. 

Cody’s breathing sped up. His head tossed to the left, then the right. Nick reached over to touch his arm and shake him out of what looked like a bad dream, when a car driving by the pier let out a sharp bang. Nick flinched at the sound, but Cody shot out of the chair, wide-eyed. 

  
“Nick!” Cody threw himself at Nick and pulled them both to the deck, Nick’s chair clattering over behind them. Cody covered Nick with his body, their chests pressed together and Cody’s hands trying to keep Nick’s arms in tight. 

“Hey, hey.” Nick put a hand on Cody’s back. “It was just a car, Cody.” 

Cody’s jaw pressed into Nick’s neck where he tried to keep his head down as far as possible while still covering him. “What?”

“A car backfired, that’s all.” He rubbed Cody’s back in a small circle. “You must have been having a hell of a dream.”

Cody lifted his head, and the look of fear faded in his eyes. He rolled off Nick. “I heard a gunshot.”

“Yeah, sounded like one.” He put a hand out and stood. “Come on.”

Cody took his hand and let Nick help him up, then he collapsed into the chair and rubbed his hands down his face. “I was asleep?”

“Dreaming something’ bad, from the looks of things.”

“Yeah.” The haunted look in Cody’s eyes chilled Nick. He’d seen it there before. And in his own eyes, looking in his shaving mirror some mornings. It broke his heart to see it back in Cody. He didn’t have to ask what Cody had dreamed about. 

Neither of them had been plagued with nightmares for a long time, but in the first few years after coming back to the states, adjusting had been rough. Since they’d lived together on the Riptide, things had gotten better for both of them. Nick had often wondered what vets did when they didn’t have someone as close to them as he and Cody were to each other. How the hell did they handle it? He was grateful he didn’t have to find out, and just as grateful that Cody would never have to, either.

When one woke up from a nightmare, or couldn’t get their hand to stop shaking enough to pour coffee without sloshing it everywhere--or thought they were back in the jungle when they heard a car backfire--the other was there, setting things right again. 

“It was the gunfire last night?” Nick said as he sat in a chair next to Cody. “The automatic?”

Cody nodded and closed his eyes. “I guess so. It just . . . shook me, that’s all.”

“I know.” He put a hand on Cody’s leg. “It happens.”

“Hasn’t for a long time.”

Nick knew better than to push, even though he wanted Cody to get it all off his chest. After several minutes, Cody rubbed his hands down his face. “Hell, Nick, I’ve _fired_ automatic weapons since Nam and not felt this way.”

“You were in control of it. Didn’t come out of the dark and take you by surprise.”

“I know you’re right, but . . .”

“Doesn’t make it any easier.” 

When Cody only nodded and clearly wasn’t going to talk more about it, Nick squeezed his leg, then stood and stretched. “Want some breakfast? I’ll go and get it. Bet there’s a bear claw with your name on it.”

“Sure,” Cody said, but it sounded half-hearted. “Nothing like sugar to make the day better, right?”

“Isn’t that what all the experts say?”

Cody laughed. “No. Pretty sure they don’t.”

“Well maybe they should. We’ll have sugar and caffeine for breakfast, then how about dinner tonight at Straightaway’s. Red meat and deep fried things, then we’ll sit out here with some beers to top it off. Just what the doctor ordered, you know?”

“Sounds great, Nick.” Cody’s smile was genuine, and Nick instantly felt lighter. 

He ruffled Cody’s hair. “Be back in a few.” They’d do exactly what he said, and while they sat on the deck and drank beer, he’d bring up Sylvia again. It’d probably cheer Cody up to talk about a potential new lady in his life, as much as Nick dreaded hearing about it. 

* * *

They had their sugar, coffee, a lunch of leftovers, and dinner at Straightaway’s, and Nick couldn’t help but notice that Cody didn’t finish half of anything he ate all day. He’d offered Nick the rest of his fries, but Nick’s appetite had shrunk just watching Cody pick at his food. 

After dinner, they sat on the deck, beers in hand, and neither of them spoke for at least fifteen minutes. Cody kept staring up at the sky, thought the lights on the pier made it hard to see the stars. 

A steady breeze had taken the damp air with it, and both of them wore jeans and T-shirts instead of shorts. 

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Nick sipped his beer and braced himself. “Sylvia?”

Cody frowned in his direction. “Who?”

“Sylvia James, from last night.”

“No, why?”

“I dunno, I just thought since she hugged you for so long maybe she’d slipped you her phone number or something.”

Cody scoffed and grinned. “No, she definitely did not give me her phone number.”

“What, you asked and she turned you down?”

“I didn’t ask.”

“That’s some missed opportunity, Cody. A woman hugs you half the night, ask for her number next time.”

“She didn’t hug me _that_ long.”

“I was about to call _The Guinness Book_ , see if you could break a record or something.” 

Cody scoffed again and took a drink, and maddeningly didn’t say anything else about it. 

“So she was grateful, and that was it?”

Cody glanced to the side, a shifty look like he wasn’t telling the whole truth. “That was it.” 

“Huh.”

“What did you expect, Nick? Her uncle would have been shot if he’d been the one dropping the money, and her aunt was about to be rescued. She was relieved. She hugged me, no big deal.” Cody shrugged one shoulder and took a drink. 

“I still can’t believe you didn’t go for it. I mean, she’s your type and all, touching your face, kissing your cheek like that, I--”

“You jealous, big guy?”

Nick laughed, but some of it caught in his chest. “I’m just sayin’--”

“Sayin’ what, Nick? Why are you so hung up on this? Did you want to take her out and you’re worried I’m going to get there first?”

“No. I just can’t believe after all that you didn’t ask her out.”

“After all what?”

“Staying behind like that, to help her or comfort her, or whatever it was you were doing. When I realized you weren’t behind me and saw you with her, I figured something must have happened.”

Cody stared at a spot somewhere on the railing, then shook his head. “Nick, I’m sorry about that.”

“I figured you had good reason, protecting her or something, and you knew I could handle myself, but if you didn’t ask her out after all that, you’re losing your touch, man.” Nick forced a smile. 

“Maybe,” Cody said after a long time. “Maybe I am.” He took a drink and looked away. “When’s Murray getting back?”

Their conversation was sparse and a little tense after that, Nick thought, and he blamed himself. Every time he thought about Sylvia with her arms around Cody, tension coiled inside him. 

After they’d finished only one beer, Cody stood and said he thought he’d hit the hay. He’d barely slept the night before, after all, and hoped to get caught up. Nick followed him in and only stayed up a half an hour longer than Cody, cleaning up a little and trying to put thoughts of Sylvia James out of his mind. 

* * *

Cody woke screaming around two a.m.

Nick jumped out of his bunk and was at Cody’s side in a second, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him in tight. Cody’s arms went around him, his fingers digging into Nick’s shoulders. 

He hadn’t been screaming wordlessly, like it happened sometimes. He’d screamed Nick’s name. 

“I’m here, buddy. I’m right here.”

Cody shook so hard it was like hugging a jackhammer. “Nick,” he said, not a scream but still too loud, like he couldn’t find him and was calling his name. 

“I’ve got you, Cody. It’s Nick. We’re on the Riptide. We’re okay.”

He felt Cody’s nod, but the trembling kept up for several minutes. Neither of them let go or even loosened their grip on each other. 

“We’re okay,” Cody whispered, when his body stopped vibrating. He finally lifted his face from where it had been pressed against Nick’s neck and shoulder. He stared at Nick as if to reassure himself he really was there. The room was dark, but Nick’s eyes had adjusted enough to see Cody glance side to side, nervous. 

“Hey, I’m right here. We’re sitting in your bed, on the Riptide.”

Cody pulled back and patted Nick’s shoulders, his chest, one tentative hand touching his stomach. “You were shot.”

“Only in your nightmare, buddy.”

Cody exhaled and threw his arms around Nick again. “Thank god. I thought--”

“You thought wrong, man. It was just a dream.”

“No, Nick, it wasn’t.” Cody clung to him. 

Nick gently pushed to get Cody to move over, which he did without letting go. They lay down like that, Cody’s arms around him tight as rubber bands. Nick held him as fiercely, and when his head hit the pillow, Cody lifted his. 

“When you took off to run across the street last night, I grabbed for you, but I was too late. You ran, and there were more gunshots, and I saw you, Nick. I saw you get shot down right in the road. And I couldn’t stop it.”

“Hey, _hey_ , you know that didn’t happen.” 

“I started after you and then you went down, and I _knew_ you were dead. And I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. It was like I’d been shot, lying dead next to you. Everything was just over.”

Nick’s throat tightened. He put a hand on Cody’s face. “Cody.”

“I didn’t stay behind to protect anybody, Nick. I froze. I guess I stood there, shaking, until Sylvia James came up and asked what was wrong. She had to snap me out of it.” Cody made a sound that might have tried to be a laugh but came out like a sob. “She led me away from the commotion and kept trying to get me to tell her what was wrong. I think she thought I was having a nervous breakdown. Maybe I was.”

Jesus. Nick had been so knotted up about Sylvia hugging him, flirting with him--he _had_ been jealous--and all along Cody had been in that kind of state? That explained the hug when Nick approached him, and that haunted look Nick kept seeing in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Cody. I had no idea. Here I was teasing you about her.”

“She only hugged me because I was shaking. And listening to her talk helped ground me until I realized you were okay. I had to stop looking toward the street, afraid I’d still see you there.”

Nick pulled Cody to him again, a hand around the back of his neck. “I’m so sorry. I wish you’d have told me this last night.”

“I couldn’t bring myself to. Thought I was going to fall apart as it was. I’d hoped it would fade and I wouldn’t have to think about it anymore at all.”

He rubbed the back of Cody’s neck, letting his fingers sink into his hair to rub his scalp. Nick’s nightmares had often involved Cody being hurt in some way, or missing, somewhere out of sight, in pain and calling out to Nick for help. Or dead. Those kept him from sleeping much for days after. It had happened to both of them from time to time. 

And over the years, there’d been times on the job where Cody had been seriously hurt, times when Nick thought it was the end for one or both of them, and he hadn’t felt right for weeks after just knowing that it had been possible. 

But if he’d ever had some sort of waking flash like that, seeing Cody shot dead in front of him . . . 

“We’re both okay, all right? I’m right here, perfectly fine, and I’m not gonna let you forget that.” No way could he let Cody have another nightmare and wake up alone in a panic. There’d be no going back to his bunk tonight, and that suited him fine. 

They’d slept in the same bed before, when one of them woke from a nightmare they couldn’t shake. It hadn’t happened in a while, but it felt as natural as breathing to pull Cody down to rest his head against Nick’s shoulder. 

“Think you can get back to sleep?” He rubbed circles on the back of Cody’s neck. 

“Maybe, like this.” Cody sighed, his breath hot against Nick’s skin. “Thanks, Nick.”

“It’s as much for me as it is for you,” he admitted. Anything that hurt Cody hurt him, and the fact that he’d been so focused on Cody potentially dating someone new that he hadn’t caught his distress and helped him earlier made it worse. He waited a long time, letting Cody’s breathing slow and get deeper, before he said, “I hate that you went through that alone and I didn’t see it. Something like that happens again, don’t keep it from me, okay?”

“Promise.” The word came out soft, like Cody was barely awake enough to speak it. 

Nick stayed awake a long time to make sure if Cody showed the slightest hint of unease he could wake him before the dream got too bad. After a couple of hours of Cody’s steady breathing, Nick let himself rest, too. 

* * *

When they woke the next morning, Nick seconds before Cody, their faces were so close their noses almost touched. 

If Nick woke up that close to any other man, he’d have immediately moved back to give them both some space. The person he was closest to on the planet besides Cody was Murray, and even with him he’d move away. He’d probably cover Murray’s whole face with his hand and playfully push him back while they laughed about it. The point was he wouldn’t be comfortable waking up this close to any guy.

But Cody had never been any guy, and anytime they were close, even this close, Nick’s instinct had always been to lean in more. It hadn’t taken long for him to figure out that Cody felt the same. So when Cody opened his eyes and they stared at each other, their bodies pressed together, faces nose to nose, they both slowly smiled. 

Cody’s hair stuck up at odd angles, and Nick figured his was as bad and part of the reason Cody’s eyes crinkled at the corners and he looked about to laugh. It was good to see him smile, no matter what the reason. 

“No more nightmares?”

“Not a one. Thanks, buddy.”

“Maybe no sugar for breakfast this morning for you. How about some fruit?”

“Fruit’s sugar, Nick.”

“Healthy sugar. You can’t ask a man to start the day without even _healthy_ sugar, Cody. It’s inhumane.” 

They smiled at each other a long time, before they argued about whether berries and bananas were really better than bear claws. Nick decided they weren’t, but they’d do. And they talked about Cody calling a counselor if what happened last night kept happening. Nick agreed to go with him if it came to that. 

They didn’t have any pressing cases or much to do at all that day, so they took the Riptide out and did some fishing, with sandwiches for lunch and some of their catch for dinner. Nick spent the day angry at himself for not seeing how Cody was hurting, and by the time they’d made it through a couple of beers on the deck and were stripping down for bed, Nick couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“I think I _was_ a little jealous of Sylvia, okay?” he said, as if they’d just been discussing it and not how Cody had overcooked the fish a little. 

Cody frowned as if he didn’t know what Nick was talking about, then said, “Oh.” He grinned lopsidedly and crawled into his bed. “It showed. I’d practically forgotten her name and you wouldn’t shut up about her.”

Nick sat on his bunk. “The way she held your hands and touched your face. And kissed your cheek!”

“I remember.” Cody beamed. 

“Okay, okay, you don’t have to look so happy about it. Especially not since I was so focused on that, I missed what you were goin’ through.”

“You’re not psychic, Nick. And I didn’t tell you.” 

Nick waved it off. He knew it, but it still felt all wrong. And it felt wrong to sleep that far away from Cody after he’d gone through something as awful as thinking he saw Nick cut down in the street. 

As if reading his mind, Cody said, “You’re not going to sleep all the way over there, are you?”

Nick smiled. “I was hoping not.”

Cody scooted over in his bed and lifted the sheet. When Nick climbed in they settled together, Cody’s cheek against his shoulder and Nick’s arms around him. Nick pressed his lips to Cody’s forehead, a gesture he somehow hoped might prevent bad dreams, at least for a while. 

“You can stop being jealous,” Cody said softly. “Sylvia James has never crawled into my bed, has she?”

Nick smiled against Cody’s forehead. He fell asleep holding Cody tight, comforted by the fact that she hadn’t, and she never would. 


End file.
